I had an entry mostly written up here but I decided to scrap it. Sometimes you say a lot of words and they end up meaning nothing, and that's okay.

My boyfriend had some friends come over for their birthday, and we played some fun board games. I'm a total sore loser but the ones we played had a much chiller vibe than what I'm used to and it was great. My boyfriend's friends are awesome and it's a delight to have them over. I hope we can hang out more often.

The updates in Palestine have me sick to my stomach. I whinged about my feelings in the now deleted journal entry, but crying about how I feel is unproductive and self serving. I'm now a few days out of my latest negative thoughts spiral, and I'm trying to do as much as possible given my limited budget and lack of transportation. It's so... uncanny I guess. The world doesn't feel real when horrors like this happen. I mean, they happen all the time, even when I'm not personally aware of them, but like. It's so publicized. Yet nothing is being done. All the outcries and protesting and calling and basically begging for the President to do something falls on deaf ears. Good luck in the elections you senile old piece of shit. 

I had a lot more written before but again, it feels disgustingly self serving. Like I'm more focused in trying to get Liberal Good Boy Points™ with internet strangers. Donate money and/or call your reps, it's the least you can do. 

I caved and started porting Nocti to a new RPG Maker file; it's going better than expected but OH BOY is there a lot of archaic stuff in here. Character dialogue that's become OOC, clunky over engineered mechanics, so many fucking switches... I'm cleaning things up as I transfer old json map info to the new project. It's extra work, but I was so burnt out on trying to figure out why the two Yanfly plugins were no longer working together and trying to mash new plugins into the old format I needed to do something drastic so I wouldn't just.... give up. I have a deadline for the next update in mind at the cost of leaving out one of the Orbs I wanted to add. It's okay. It's still a big update. Hopefully worth the four years of waiting...

Thinking about how much time I've put into Nocti vs how far I've come is depressing sometimes. I never meant for the project to be as big as it is. I could just leave it at four orbs and be done with it. But... I don't know. I have so much I want to do with the game and so much I want to attempt to say... I don't know! In the meantime I'll keep trucking on. 

I finished Echo finally. It was a great game, glad I saved Jenna's route for last. That one scene... if you've played her route you know what I'm talking about. That Scene is so fucking brilliant. One of the best uses of the medium's tropes I've seen, at least in indie VNs. It's not like "999 on the DS" levels of amazing, but it's close. 

Funnily enough I played Adastra right after and it hit me way harder emotionally than anything in Echo. I'm also enamored with the sprites. It's soooooo good. Reminds me of Dangan Ronpa a bit, but the smaller cast probably allowed for a larger variation budget than simple head and arm manipulation. I feel like this is another article I should write some time when I'm not working on my 500 other projects. Augh, if only there was more time in the day, or if I was more organized. 

One day!! One day I'll have everything I want done and be satisfied.

Current Mood: Procrastinating...........