It's literally been.... over a month since I started dealing with my Acid Reflux Issue. It finally calmed down a day or two ago, and I can only assume it's because half of my meals that day were oatmeal? Idk?? I don't want to look a gift horse in the mouth but I'm so confused. Oatmeal is supposed to be good for acid reflux but it can't be good enough to cure me after eating it?

Obviously having acid in my throat and chest pain almost constantly kinda killed motivation for work. Uhh... the Red Orb area is all finished though, minus one small cutscene that I could probably leave out for the time being. The biggest hurdle to release is getting NPC sprites done, which isn't hard it's but I think I'm still a little burnt out after working three days straight on the beach ones. I'll get to them eventually.

I spent some of my time being sick writing a "scene document" for another story that I keep coming back to. I decided to revert a few of the changes I made in the last version because they were getting me stuck in dead ends, and I flipped the dynamic of the two main characters and now the first draft is nearing completion. The main characters are currently separated and I'm having a bit of trouble figuring out what one has been doing while in hiding and how they're going to meet up again. I have ideas but nothing set in stone. I'll probably just write past that part and figure it out later when all the pieces are on the table. God I really, really want to make this story. It's one I keep coming back to again and again, for better or worse. Something about it just got its hooks in my brain and won't let go.

I've rewritten this part over and over again trying to soften the blow to myself but I'm just gonna say it: it's a psychosexual horror story about the complexities of identity and consent. Yep.

I'm not quite sure why saying that out loud (or typing it out I guess) is so terrifying but I don't know. I get paranoid. But honestly I don't even have enough of a following on social media to have anything make a difference. Nocti has what, like 300 downloads? after 6+ years? Who cares if I go from that to horror porn visual novels? I'm nearing my mid-30's why do I care if people clutch their pearls over it? Who's even around to clutch those pearls? I'm a nobody!

Uh, that outburst was stupid but I'm keeping it in because otherwise I'll spend another hour trying to write "tee hee I wanna make a game that contains fucked up shit" again. Also I just checked and Nocti has over 1000 downloads. Since when lol? Who are you people? Anytime someone says they're excited for Nocti's update I'm looking around the room like that gif of John Travolta in Pulp Fiction. Like, I'm glad you're enjoying my work but it feels weird to not only have someone sit down and dick around with the RPGMaker game I've been making forever but to also like it enough to leave a comment on the update page. Ahhh mooommm I'm being percieved!!!

This wasn't even the main thing I wanted to talk about even!!! I started this journal entry out excited to talk about a group of characters my boyfriend and I have been sharing. We've been spending the past couple of days staying up late writing comics and swapping them with each other and oh my god it's the most addicting thing I've ever done. I'm obsessed. If you can get a group of friends together to do something similar DO IT. It's also kinda... hugely NSFW and I'll probably have to put anything I want to share on a second website just so family members checking out my drawings get slapped in the face with dingdongs. Maybe I'll post some of the sfw stuff here. Maybe.

Okay that was a lot of word vomit! Whoopee! I'm over it. Time to go make our ocs talk about fursonas.

Current Mood: Hyperfixated on that fucking bee